This week I got eleven attempts at hooking up with me on myspace.
I did not reply anything to any of them, obviously.
What is wrong with you people??
Dear "Deviated Septum.", you don't need to "find anything out for yourself".
Dear "Joksta Johnny Zombag", I will not "hit you up" and I do not "feel the same".
Dear "Kevin", 'Pumpkin'? Really?
Dear "Miami...", I don't care that you worked on Miami Vice and Bad Boys 2.
Dear "John Dj", I won't "hit you up" because I "look like your friend".
Dear "Jake", I will not tell you my shoe size!!!!
Dear "OZZY", 'Que linda wuz up cutie' is not attractive.
Dear "King of This Kingdom", you literally just called me "beach front property"?
Dear "john m", no, I am NOT "lookin for sometin fun".
Dear "xϟ8 Sonny Swanson", I don't want to "have some fun with you".
Dear "Fuck It Mentality", NO.
**This guy I did reply to, this was our conversation:
John: damn baby u r sexy. u lookin for sometin fun?
Me: That's a little creepy.
John: well it's not a line, but i guess i am CREEPY
Me: My friend literally got the SAME message from you this morning...
John: like i said i am creepy. however if i was someone famous that u guys loved and thought was really sexy, u wouldn't hesitate to meet me.
Me: Um.. yeah. That is human.
John: well that's dumb, but that's females for u
UGGGH. I am an asshat magnet, and myspace just brings us all together.